Full disclosure…totally sipping (as in opposite of sipping) the whiskey tonight…feeling too good to really be writing, but…WTF…we only live once, right?
Had my first college snow day today. Just two days ago I recall thinking that it felt so like spring, went to work that afternoon and was told about the upcoming blizzard. Have not been watching the weather lately because in all reality, we’ve had very little winter here in the midwest as of yet and knew it would have to show up sooner or later. Showed up overnight and was actually surprised that college was canceled with all our classes being set up with Zoom because of the Covid thing. Pleasantly surprised, but surprised none-the-less.
Was able to get a few assignments done today, tickled! Could pry get one or two more done tonight, but in all reality, I do not want to. I want to continue with the whiskey. Shhhhh…..don’t tell my folks….even at the age of 47, I get the look and the lecture. Hate disappointing my folks, but damn…I’ve spent the majority of my life making everyone else happy and towing the line…about time I have fun and make myself happy, right? I’m home, so it’s not like I’ll be out driving. Could make work at the bar tomorrow less than pleasant though…won’t be the first time I’ve had to deal with a hangover there, guessing it won’t be my last.
Taking an on-line course this semester in mass communications. By next Sunday we are to journal for 24 hours all of our media usage….figured today would be a great day to get ‘er done. I am so disappointed with myself, at nine hours in I was embarrassed to see how often I check my phone for messages. At the end of 24 hours we are to tabulate how much time we spent on our various sites, various apps, watching tv, listening to music on our phones….everything. If you stop and notice each time you check to see if anyone has snapped or texted, it would amaze you. Seriously, really surprised. Rather disgusting actually. Just looked at my notes, seems I have lost four hours somewhere…guess we can chalk that down to a nap, right? Knowing me, by morning I will be completely disgusted with myself and will start it all over again. I know how I am wired…cheating isn’t my thing.
Life is moving along. Like I already mentioned, have been talking with a fellow. IDK, I know I am so not ready for a relationship, but also know that I can’t be an old hermit forever. I miss having someone to touch, to kiss and to hold. After the one night oops of sleeping with a good friend, I know that I am not ready to go down that road again. Having been with only one person from the age of 16 to 47…really makes it hard. Living in a rural area makes it so hard as well, start to get around even a little and you are know as a slut….don’t want that…I just want something…someone…does that make sense? I feel my standards are so high…do I keep them high or do I just have a little fun?
Thankfully I have the most amazing tribe! My girls are always there for me. There is one guy in my tribe but he seems to have stepped back over the past few months and only really hear from him over snapchat streaks. It bothers me because I thought he was there for me, we were both going through divorces…brother of one of my other tribe mates….now he just seems so distant….WTF? Seriously, someone my age shouldn’t be using WTF as often as I do on a daily basis. It was so nice to have him to puke to and be able to get a man’s point of view at times…missing that. Then again, found he was talking to me and the non-sister tribe mate in the same way…over Thanksgiving weekend he told me to not talk to the other gal about him, ever…we have and he talked to both of us in the same way…dude is quite the player. Obviously, there was a reason for him to say for us to not talk about him….at more than 15 years younger than me, wish he would realize I see him only as a brother figure and miss his advice.
For gracious sake…hope everyone has a great weekend…..live life to it’s fullest! Be a hippy, a gypsy and a cowgirl! That’s that way I am rolling these days!
Peace By To All!